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the nuclear family

by Matt Collaborate

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1.
Bichameral Mind 05:37
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bicameral mind one speaks, sing, write one obeys in 4/4 time sign away your life 8-5 for our pence 2.5, white picket fence retirement and then we’re dead is this all there really is? Is this all worth this? is it our purpose? What is all worth this? is this our purpose? is this our purpose? what’s it all worth? is this our purpose? what is all worth this? goddamn idle mind the battle between left and right idle hands understand time time escapes, rips away in the night time it slips right through our hands sand falls down an hour glass roads diverge into a path does it make a difference? does any of this make a difference? what's all the worth of this? am I a hypocrite? i want a suburban home does that mean i'm a clone? Nuclear Family For God, and County circle around the atom mitosis mammals is this our purpose? what’s it all worth? what is my purpose? is my legacy worthless?
2.
Nostalgia Reboot 03:35
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times up is that a good first line? just like that nursery rhyme back in 2001 the war had just begun I can't adapt it's way too fast this spinning twirling world nostalgias past will make us cash that's what we observed there's no original ideas is this derivative of everything I fear is our future so banal that we're clinging to all that's ancestral I give up on writing these new songs my voice will soon be gone heard by no one give them what they want we can't adapt we just react to what we see and scroll I miss the days when it was safe a pre-pandemic world we turn to dangerous ideas a collective consciousness that is riddled with fear does everyone feel so small does every one of us feel so trivial? nostalgia turns to hate made this year like 1968 the danger of "let's make our country great" each generation yearns for something more
3.
All Their Love 04:54
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Mother is there any grace in this world today? Brother will you send me a card while you’re half a world away can’t forget all the scars from when we were kids we grew up finding ways to forget all of it Father are you aware of your selfish ways? maybe if you listened twice as much as what you say and I know you sacrificed a lot when we were young I can’t seem to rectify all of this love I can’t let go of the past I keep it pent up all inside this mess do you know the mess you made? all you’ll ever see is what you gave Brother why are you in that room all by yourself? don’t you know that you’re the cause of your own private hell and you shy away from a picture that’s not worth with a family that you see as the enemy since birth Brother why do you sit all quiet there like me? is it all that we witnessed when you were small like me now it feels sometimes like you’re a stranger I worry all you keep inside will be your own danger I’m holding on to what you did to the way you treated us when we were kids there’s so much that you don’t know I guess you’ll have to reap what you’ve sown There’s so much that you don't even know I will take this to my grave all the things I know Ill never say And now you want me to be your son Where were you then with all this love? I wish I could accept all their love
4.
Keep the Door Closed 04:48
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keep the door closed nobody’s home gonna catch a cold that’s what I was told limit what you show what do you know about feeling vulnerable? putting up a wall around my soul what’s left of my soul I want to keep when you’re born with a curse when you’re not last or first they put you in the middle self-fulfilling prophecy doubt planted like a seed your upbringings a riddle when you anger is repressed they say that you're depressed they always need a label I spent half my life psychoanalyzed but what of Cain and Abel? sometimes I think of Plath Anne Sexton and her gas holding her glass just like Kerouac why am I so obsessed with Death? why can’t I open up my past? I spent my whole life trying to get away from them I won’t be another writers tragic end
5.
The Curse and the Gift 02:35
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is this what happens when you're old still not doing what I'm told a melody I wrote a long time ago try so hard to be sincere proliferate year after year said this was a curse a long rhyme ago the reasons we can't stop this feeling wrenching, honing, this things owns me you could say that it was fate growing up on my street I was just 14 you could chalk it up to luck but it doesn't give it a fuck it haunts me it says "Matt, you have to create or else you are finished" it's just not fair some may say that it is a gift a curse that can lift you out of despair the reasons we can't stop this feeling wrenching honing this thing owns me
6.
The City 04:12
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I’ve been running around the city’s maze or i’ve been spending my days watching TV while the lines on my face they crack and fade am I too late? is it too late now? there’s no one around they all went down either North or South either East or West the city was best when you were all in it am I trapped in this urban nightmare are they all trapped in suburban white fence who’s to say what’s supposed to be normal I don’t want to conform, am I mature what the fuck happened to all my friends? am I left behind? it's so cliche but i’m indifferent because things are different now yes, i’m jaded and I gotta stop it somehow Why can love be without a contract is no offspring really that abstract I don't want to leave the city like everyone else to start a family I don't want to leave the city
7.
The First Thing I Remember is Being Under Something 03:14
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the first thing I remember was being under the table with all of it's legs or the cradle I saw as a cage "is that why you have all this rage?" past memories of infancy I must admit my privilege a stroke of luck to grow up on that street the must stuck with me a construct, a community "is that why this made you the person you became?" I should count my blessings all the silver linings the tragic twist of fate all those years just hiding in my room just pining it helped me create
8.
The Devil's Plans 04:36
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what they say isn’t accurate from naivety to jaded you don’t think it’s right to say what I want tonight I stand trial for all my sins it all starts where it all begins I don’t think it’s right omnipresent oversight I put the past in a locket I just want God to stop it he can sell it for a cheaper price I’m just waiting for him to smite he is getting ready for a fight strike me down with all your might And he’s love addicted ambivalent I'm afflicted idle hands is for the devils plans alright let the record scratch and it begin: Highway 61 Revisited it’s Dylan all the way tonight I was cursed when I was younger they say “God’s Gift” but I had hunger I was itching for a bite waking up to my alarm like my father, i'm a time bomb clock is ticking alright there is this thing inside of me that I try to hide from me but it likes to come out at night I’m a demon I’m villain with the records that I’m spinning it will turn it’s ugly head tonight he’s love addicted ambivalent, i'm afflicted idle hands is for the devils plans alright
9.
Tommy and Matti 06:30
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It's always after they are gone we grasp a photograph In Memory but not Forgotten It's always after they are gone we learn things about them we didn't know when they were young You could of gone to Juilliard Your vicious Old Man man, he really seemed like he was a bastard He took the money from your hand he said "Forget about it" and walked away That's what you told me You made a sacrifice didn't get what you want you went to start a Family so they could have a better life You know I know that poker face as you laid on that bed as you look at your Family and you wink and wave you're fine I'll never know that sacrifice I always get what I want I'll probably never have a family because I'm such a selfish fuck 60 years with your wife gave up piano and the drums I won't have Grandchildren by my side in the end I'm glad I got to say goodbye He took a photograph in memory but not forgotten It was our final Christmas night with all the family the background played Frank Sinatra A few weeks later you were gone I hope that maybe somewhere you're in another form with Tom Wish I believed in an Afterlife But I'll keep all these memories and your soul alive Now that all your pains gone you will finally get to rest Why do we lose everyone? is this some kind of test? We looked all over for her grave We found her cemetery plot We buried you with your mother We knew that's what you wanted It's not the same without you here who's gonna tell us the truth? You brought together the Family there's just no one like you I will always miss you both I'll keep you close to my heart I'll remember all that you taught me Nothings thicker than blood.
10.
Patent the Universe 04:30
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we finally did it we destroyed the planet Mother Nature hates us she’s finally had it the Ice Caps melt and sink us the airs so black it chokes us but we can get a new one it’s all a hoax the President is on the line DEAFCON 1, it is time Red balloons are 99 hands on the codes maybe we could escape though the multiverse A new planet to inhabit in the universe the Big Bang is Fake News anyway the Earth is Flat we could sail to the end of it a corporate rocket to fly into orbit God will come down to save the day but we’ll adapt real quick put in your microchip avoid the Nuclear blast or the Pandemic deaths we don’t believe government lies we can find a place to colonize we can travel back in time before the war, famine, and crime the scientists are on the line but we’ve run out of time party like it’s 2099 get out your phones maybe we could escape to the stratosphere the Liberal Elite left us down here And we’ve run out of gasoline the Earth is gone we could make the best of it it won’t long before we kill the last of it here it comes, the final tidal wave I just want a friend at the end of the world as the Nuclear bombs fall from the sky Time and Space collapse in a line and it’s only a matter of time I just want a friend at the end of the world
11.
The Way Out 01:23
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12.
The Laughing Heart 05:34
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underwater in the night you'll be gone before it comes lamb to slaughter you're the first one in the line you'll be gone before it comes Cain and Abel don't hurt The Baby they were only having fun we're mature now out of the house we can be like everyone suffocated breath is bated you had better watch your tongue underwater in the night I'll be gone before it comes there's no turning back i'm on the attack I'm stretching my neck I've got to keep breathing I don't want to drown I want to be found I can't just lie down I've got to keep screaming deep in my gut I want to give up I know that I'm stuck and no one believes in me in this case I'm in a dark place I realize my fate: only I can save me break the cycle of abuse block that fist before it comes i'm nothing like you that's what I like to tell myself Time Bomb, here it comes hold my breath to count to 10 gotta breathe before I drown keep breathing I've got to keep breathing I only know that I can save me I'll be gone before the dark off to find my soul and spark in the morning sings the lark deep inside my laughing heart

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released April 10, 2021

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Matt Collaborate Evesham Township, New Jersey

A solo project where I do a lot of covers, and originals that I write or collaborate with people.

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