in the moment / in the past

by Matt Collaborate

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released May 17, 2014



all rights reserved


Matt Collaborate Evesham Township, New Jersey

A solo project where I do a lot of covers, and originals that I write or collaborate with people.

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Track Name: Head North
Lets start from the beginning:

I don't know which side is winning.
I can't tell anymore.

Making plans to leave the city.
Pack your bags.
Head North and leave with out me.
I don't care anymore.

No, it's great you will get what you wanted.
Walk these streets like they are haunted.
Pack your bags and leave now.
Find your happiness without me.

Making plans to say goodbye.
It's about that last look in your eye.

And you say "What will become of us?"

Promises that were never kept.
Can't break our habits.
When you leave, you leave everything we fought for.

Now I wait for you to decide.
As I stay in my room and hide.
Track Name: The Escape
Do you remember all our dreams of getting out?
and getting out of this town?
We sat in my car, you got off the front porch.
We sat in front of your house.

We sat in front of your mailbox where my letters always came.
You said you want to leave again when you just got off the plane.
We talked about our lives here.
White picket fences seemed like jail cells.
Suburban small town class trap isn't as great as it seems now.

And it seems like we'll never escape...

All the things that get in the way of our dreams.
And everything they say about us...
You said you want to go to a place that is far from here,
start a brand new life.

I swear someday I'm gonna show up
and i'll be right on your front porch
and when you open the door
my bags will be packed.

And I'll say:

"the highways open, will you come and take my hand
and go far away with me?"

But for now i'll be here for you across town,
and waiting for our forever.
I'll swear someday we'll leave this place,
and drive away together.
Track Name: Manhattan
I took that train to the New York side.
Never though we'd meet on a Friday night.
The Hudson Bay never seem so wide,
like when I first looked into your eyes.

Those sarcastic remarks are what hooked me from the start.
And I asked you to dance
and you gave me a chance...

Look at the Crime Scene that we've created:
People didn't deserve for us to be reserved:
Talkin' bout all the things we hated.
(Like that moment you took off my shirt)

And you got so drunk...
and I got so high.
And we kissed for the first time.

And I held you close on the streets of Manhattan.
So we took the train uptown in the rain.
And we walked real slow.
And you told me "not to go."
So we shared that bed that could barely fit our heads.

As the trains passed by, we held each other all through the night.
When morning comes I will be right by your side.
So when go I'll be up here covered in snow.
If only you could stay and delay your flight.

So when you go I'll be covered up here in snow.
I promise to write if you promise to write.
Track Name: The Sun Also Rises
I used to stay up all night long watching the sun come down.
Walk at 4am all way across this town.
Summers at 15 never ended, you see.
Insomnia, old friend, won't you come back to me?

I never paid attention to what they had to say
I couldn't find a job so they sent me away.
Too busy daydreaming and chasing women.
All I wanted was to play in band.

I don't understand why you wasted your time on me.
I was a lost cause.
I was an outlaw.
Making out in the hallway.
Skipping school all day.
You were a good girl and I fucked up your world.

Remember all those times that I made you cry?
When we woke up and the sun opened our eyes?
I was so stupid then, why couldn't I see?
We were blinded by insecurity.
You would wait for me after class, but I couldn't make it last.

Then there was those weeks that I spent on the road.
I would pack my bags and leave you at home.
I would count the days until I was free.
On the phone you said: "Matt, won't you come back to me?"

I would send you letters that I hoped got to you.
You said "Without you here there's just nothing to do."
You got tired of waiting and you had to move on.
I couldn't win you back with my writing and songs.

I had left one too many times.
Then you said "Without you I'll be just fine"
I let you go for the last time.
It's for the best, now it's in the past.

When I look back now I realize that I was in love with lies.
Those clean sheets were dirty on both sides.
You found the one you love and it wasn't me.
What I realized you will never see.
I don't need to be with someone to be happy.

You'll grow old, and I'll sit here and sing.
I know one day those wedding bells will ring.
You'll be in love.
And I'll be alone.
But after all these years,
I'm finally fine with that.

Track Name: Frankford Ave
Getting high under 95:

"You and I are going out tonight.
Put on your heels, we're going to the bar."

A couple drinks and we won't think.
Painkillers and Caffeine.
Frankford Ave isn't very far.

It's just like old times, when we first met.
Dancing all night, how could I forget?
When I didn't want another.
I'm fucking wasted.
I'm just trouble.
Yeah, I'm no good.

The music is getting louder.
And we get close to each other.
Somehow, I knew it.
It's been so long since I felt this close to you.
Your heart is beating too loud.

Lets go back to where I parked.
We don't have to walk far at all.
I'll drive you home, even though I'm too drunk to drive.

I said, "I'm staying over tonight."

Sleep in your bed.
Hold on to me.
It just feels right.
It just felt right, tonight.
Track Name: Mad River
I picked you out of a crowded bar.
One right down on Main Street and Shurs.
Mad River was on fire that night.
I came up to you and said:

"You should smile..."

Those few nights in your apartment,
in the dark, I took you for granted.
I wasn't there when you needed me the most.
You said: Karma would get me like a ghost.

I think of you now and what a jackass I am.
I was trouble just like you said.
I run away like a little boy from the ones that are good.

I know I'll never have you back.
But one thing I tried to ask for was forgiveness.
I can't blame you for giving me no reply:

But I know that I don't deserve it.
Track Name: Holiday Party
Follow me to the basement, tell me about your life.
This party's getting too loud.
I can barely hear your voice.
We're actors in this play.
I'm no stranger to this game.

You got more drunk as I got more high.
Lets go on the front porch so we can see the Christmas lights.
It's cold out here.
You reek of beer.
And I reek of spite.

We're gonna kiss.
I predicted it.
I'm looking into your eyes.

I ask you not to leave.
But you've gotta go.
I walk you to your car, you didn't park far.
But baby, it's cold.

It's time to say goodbye.
Blonde hair and blue eyes.
I hope that you phone.

One last kiss goodbye and I'll end this good night alone.
Track Name: Lock Me Up
I pick you up and you're a couple drinks in.
We sit with my friends we're laughing at the bar.
But you grab me to go make out in my car.

"Not too long baby, they might ask where we are"

You say I'm trouble.
Well, you better stay away.
They should have locked me up long ago.

Don't worry what all our friends are saying because I don't really care.

I just want you here in my arms.
I just want you there.
I just want you here in my arms tonight.

You say I'm trouble.
Well, I better stay away.

Now I drove you home, you say that "he can wait."
You kiss me goodbye.
Baby, it's getting late.
In the darkness we combine.
Now it's time for me to go home and wait to see you again.
Track Name: Head South
You say now you're "headed South."
Well, I can't blame you for wanting to get out of your home town.
That was me years ago.
I packed my bags, I was always on the go.
I never wanted to be home.

You say "The city's not for me..."
You're getting tired of these streets,
or you're just running away from yourself.
Or me.

No matter where you go,
you can't make up for everything that you lack
and everything you couldn't give back.
I gave it all to you, but I can see now that we're though.
We are done.

Always saying "you're gonna leave,"
to get a reaction out of me.
Didn't give you the one you wanted. (Uh huh...)
When I told you "you should go,"
I'd be waiting by the phone.

But I know I was a liar...

And I know now what you need,
you need to live without me.
(I can't be) I can't give you that ambition,
you must find inside yourself,
while you put me though that hell.

I can't bask in your misery anymore.

Not gonna lie, I love this place.
And I won't miss seeing your face down these streets anymore.
You tell me now to "leave you alone,"
well, I won't write and I won't phone.
So, I hope you leave. (Well, ha ha ha)
It's sad to say,
but I hope you leave.
Track Name: Never Enough
Did you know when we kiss I think just a little bit, that this might be wrong?
We meet at the bar then we kiss in your car.
Your stereos playing a song:

You sing out a tune.
I'm staring drunk at the Moon.
I listen to your voice.
I know I'm no good.
And I know that shouldn't waste your time with me.

It all comes in waves.
Emotional state.
I can't help but feel this way.
When you're around and you're feeling down,
that job's got you tired.
And I'm just so wired.

Stayin' out late til four in the morn'
We dance and we sing, and you play those chords.
The piano it rings.
A queen and a king, just royalty when it's just you and me.

And you sing out a tune:
I stare in your eyes.
You say you're scared,
but I'm just a boy that wants to be tough,
but inside I'm soft.

And when I'm with you it's never enough.

Your sweet smile...
I'm sure I'll see you in a little while...

I can't help myself.
You can't help yourself, too.
I can't keep my hands off of you.
No, I can't keep my hands off of you.
So what do I do?
Track Name: Dickinson Street
You said: "It's over now it's done. Our time is up. We've had our fun."

I couldn't expect you to change or to have your life rearranged.

And you said: "I can't just have you in my bed."

You can't forget the ones I met after I left.

If I could have just one more night under these lights.
Just one more fight.
If I could have just one more day
I would say lets get away from this place and leave it all behind.

You said "you couldn't see me again"
You said "I don't know where you've been."

I tried so long to make it work but I couldn't be a one woman man.

And I said: "I can't get you out of my head,"
"But I can't stay, it's both our faults, we're both to blame."

If I could have just one more night under Philly lights...

But that ain't coming true.

You say that you're gonna leave the city without me.
But that would be just fine,
then I won't spend so much time driving by your apartment lights. They're always lit up at night.
I see the ghosts of you and me,
when we used to walk down Dickinson Street.
One day those lights will be out.
And this whole cities lights will go out.
Track Name: The Sun Also Sets
Affectionate discretion.
Surrogate detection.
And you can't be proud of my transgressions.

Financial apprehension.
And "early detection," but there is no cure.

Can't you, won't you stick around?
I'm so lost when there is no sound.
I wish there was something I could save.
"Watchful waiting" for the day...

There's more complications.
Too busy saving face.
Strong, silent type, is what you are.
I wasted so many years trying to fulfill these fears,
but no one could be who you are.

I'd be so lost if their was no sound.

Can we make the most of the time we have left together?
I won't let you drown.
Can I make you proud of the time I spent and learned?
I won't let you down.
Can you make a mother's love extend after you're gone?
You didn't let me drown.
The truth is I am weak, I can't hold it together.
I need you around.
This son needs you around.
As I watch the sun go down.
Can't you stick around?
I need you around.