Match Point

by Matt Collaborate

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released June 9, 2017



all rights reserved


Matt Collaborate Evesham Township, New Jersey

A solo project where I do a lot of covers, and originals that I write or collaborate with people.

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Track Name: Fire and Ice
I’ve been spending all my time alone
without you or your voice on the phone.
I am glad it’s over with and done
because I am having much more fun
spending time in my room by myself.
No bitterness, I wish all of you well.

Can you see the sun rise on the city?
It’s such a pity,
I gotta look at the glass half-full.

Can it be that I gotta avoid your neighborhoods?
I would be better
if you never saw my face.

And I know this is the end
And I know we can’t be friends.
I like spending all my time alone.
End of all these loves affairs.
We didn’t make good pairs
Cause I like spending all my time alone.

I’ve gotta show some self-restraint.
Get back my appetite and strength.
Now I can leave my room a mess.
Just one pillow for me to rest.

Can you see the silver lining in all of this?
Yeah, it’s fine if you wanna kiss,
But I’d rather avoid it all.

And I know that I scared them all away.
Self-sabotage is my game.
Maybe it’s for the best.

And I know this is the end.
I don’t think we can be friends.
I like spending all my time alone.
End of all these loves affairs.
We didn’t make good pairs
Cause I like spending all my time alone.

And I know that I am finally free.

And it’s a new paradigm.
And I think it’s just fine.
It was nice hearing your voice on the phone.
Relationships end twice,
first in Fire then in Ice.
It’s just like that Frost poem.

You’re all better off without me.

You’re all better off, I’m sure you’ll see.
Track Name: All That I Could
I really tried all that I could:
Couples therapy.
I really tried to be good,
but you know me.

Getting drunk and going out
while you stayed in.
Even with two introverts
we just couldn’t win

I always ruin everything,
always find a new flame.
I’m addicted to the chase
and to the game.

With the guilt hanging round my neck,
backlash of our pact.
You couldn’t take it anymore
then you had to pack.

It all happened so fast.
Tried everything that we could
but it didn’t last.
It all happened so clean.
Unlike the past,
why aren’t you being mean?

I really tried all that I could,
but i'm a tough nut to crack.
Now I’m living in a new apartment
without you on my back.

Now I go a little crazy
and I’m out way too much.
Best that we keep it to business
if we stay in touch.

I want you to move on
and get over me.
I may be a goner like you say
and I need therapy.

I wish you the best,
you deserve a good man.
Would of been marriage and kids
but we broke our plans.

Now I eat my frozen dinners
and you’re just being nice.
Can’t tell you that I miss you
because it wouldn’t be right.

In the end it was for the best.
I’m sure you could tell,
you weren’t born yesterday I fell
for someone else.

It all happened so fast,
Tried everything that we could
but we weren’t a good match.
You needed to learn
to live without me.
Couldn’t go on anymore
with my hypocrisy.

I couldn’t handle your love for me
because of what happened to me.
It was my subconscious flee.
(really tried all that I could)
Now you’re finally free.
Track Name: 15 Years (29)
It all started when I was 14
when I picked up this guitar.
First I would meet them through the scene
and then it was the bars.

They were nothing but trouble:
Bad, with cool tattoos.
I was hitting a double,
run these bases home run blues.

Spent my time always writing
in my notebook in high school.
I would sneak into their houses,
drinking like a fool.

Not much has changed since then.
still getting in trouble.
Still falling for the wrong ones
when they treat me cruel.

I don’t wanna get drunk anymore
and waste my time evening the score.
I’ve been in this place before,
I’m gonna walk right out that door.
I don’t wanna spill my guts,
but I can’t do this anymore.
Will you let me speak this time?
Can you please let me have the floor?
I don't wanna do this anymore.

15 years of all this bullshit
and now I'm 29.
“Happy birthday”, I am foolish
and you came right on time.

Yet they still wanna see me
despite my indifference.
Why don't you take it or leave it?
What's the difference?

Why can't I walk away
at the first sight of danger?
What makes me wanna stay?
I wish we were strangers.

I don’t wanna get high anymore
and waste my time evening the score.
I’ve been in the place before,
I’m gonna walk right out that door.
This pain is too much to endure,
I know i’ll find a different girl.
I tried to walk away before
but you just lure me in for more.

Why don't let me be
and wallow in all my hypocrisy?
What the fuck is wrong with you and me?
What do you see in me?
Why can't I just leave?
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I’ll just roll my eyes
And you will sigh:
“I'll see you Friday night."
Baby, I just don’t wanna fight.
Track Name: I've Gotta Go
I’ve got no time to doubt you.
I can live my life without you:
that’s the mantra going through my head.

My breath is bated when I’m around you.
I am blessed that I found you.
Time has run it’s course, you are now dead.

Have I become what I have hated?
Emotionless, I feel castrated.
I feel so stoic in my head.

Saying goodbye is always hard
and I still have you in my heart
and I know I have to let go or I’m dead.

Feeling so hard to understand.
Yeah, I'm a complicated man,
or just a boy with his hand
dealt to me.

Time is running out this year.
The worst truth that I have feared.
Am I falling out of love again?

I just want it all to end.
Going to be alone with just
myself to deal with and no one here.

"So it goes...", Vonnegut said.
Time brings change is what I read.
Try to find comfort in a friend.

I live with the lies inside my head.
Lets make a toast to the lives we lead.
Let’s make mistakes and cheer to the New Year.

Feeling so hard to let this go.
Born to leave, to and fro.
Escape artist in my blood,
I’ve gotta go.

The truth is that I have to accept
I can't be normal like the rest.
I can't be a one-woman man
and "settle down" like the rest.
There is no happy ending.

Feeling so hard to understand.
Yeah, I'm a complicated man
or just a boy with his hand
dealt to me.

Feeling so hard to let this go.
You were my Angel in the Snow.
Escape artist in my blood,
I've gotta go.
Track Name: On Display
Living in the bubble of approval of your friends.
Getting down about yourself cause you're fishing for compliments.
Knowing that you stand up there insincere like a mannequin on display.
Saying that you love everyone when there's none that you can take.
Caught in a cycle of validation, the drugs just pumping your state.
An illusion that you are alive when down inside you're fake.

What do you see inside that mirror?
What do you see under that beauty?
Skewed self-image, can't see clear.
We're one in the same.
You can see through me.

Baby, you can see through me.
Track Name: Have a Nice Life
I've been thinking about all the lies that you said to me.
and I've been thinking about the guy that you betrayed me with.

I want you out of here, of my place, of my life.
I don't have time for you in my life, in my heart.

Did you think I would just forgive you?
Lay down and die?
Roll over and cry?

You made the decision and you ruined it.
You couldn’t handle a good guy.

I want you out of here.
So dry your eyes.
Just dry your eyes.

Had to ruin it because of all your fears, with another guy.

You say you love me, you don’t want to go
but you made your choice.
Don’t try and flip this onto me and raise your voice,
i’m not your toy.

I want you out of here, of my place, of my life.

"It’s time to go, i'm opening the door"

Have a nice life.
Track Name: I'm One to Talk
How many unstable musicians am I gonna date?
It’s my own fault baby, because of my taste.
And i’m the same way.
So I gotta sing, scream, and shout.
Baby, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane, so I gotta play.
Meanwhile in my life I play all these games.
I’m attracted to these dangerous dames.
But i’m one to talk, cause I am the same.
Track Name: Bottle of Wine
Of course you come back right when I move on.
It's like clockwork.
You said you downed a bottle of wine.
I knew that you were drunk.
I knew it wasn't love.
How can you expect me to even respond?

I know that you are sorry and you want me to forgive.
You can't stand to see me happy and move on, cause I have to live.
I have to live my life without you.
The wounds starting to heal.
You waited until I didn't care to tell me how you feel.

I know you we're drinking.
I know it had you thinking.
I wasted too much time pretending that it was love.

I thought i was in love, but I was just a fool.
You couldn't handle someone who didn't treat you cruel.

I regret opening up and being vulnerable.
And now I'm traumatized from being treated like a tool.
I knew that it would happen, the nervous energy.
Don't you know that it hurts me that you contacted me?

I'm not going to reply, I've moved on with my life.
You won't get my validation.
I'm tired of all the strife

I know you we're drinking.
I know it had you thinking.
I wasted too much time pretending that i was in love.

I won't go by 6th and Katherine.
Don't know what i was thinking.
Under the disguise of your blue eyes was all the other guys.

I won't give you the validation.
You made your mistake it's the end
I can't be your friend, but I miss your fucking bed.

I knew that you were drinking.
What the hell were you thinking?
Can't stand to see me laugh.
Fuck you, you had your chance.

And now I won't reply.
Go find another guy.
I ain't gonna cry no more over your eyes.

I know you we’re drinking.
That bottle of wine got you thinking about what you had lost.
Now you gotta pay the cost.
I know you we're drinking.
I know it had you thinking.
I wasted too much time pretending
that I was in love
that it was love.
Track Name: Betting on the Muse (All in)
We'd shake when we'd get drunk and nervous.
But it made us both degenerates, regardless.
I don't know why you wasted time with me,
but baby, if you could just see I'm harmless.
And then maybe you could get the gist:
I liked it when we both would kiss and touch.

But you couldn't see what we could be together.
It was getting cold and we hated the weather on the East Coast.
"Oh yeah."
But you were from the West and you said it was best if we took it slow.
"Oh ya."

In the end you took me for granted.
I thought we would grow with all the things we planned
and I know I understand you had your reservations,
I was just a Man and I had my temptations, self-indulgence.
"Oh yeah."
But you were a Woman, couldn't help be be attracted
when you stared at me.
Your eyes were so seductive with your clothes off.
"Oh ya"
And the way you talked and the way you wore your hair...
"Oh ya"
"Ohhh ya"
You didn't care.
And that was fair.
And you said you felt it, too.

You said you felt it, too.
And I was just confused with what I felt for you.
And I was betting on the Muse.
You wouldn't show your cards and you made it hard.
I was betting on the muse with a 2,7, off-suit.
And you made it hard, you were bluffing from the start.
And I waited on you.
And in the end I got screwed
cause I was betting on the muse
and I knew I would lose.

I was betting on the muse and I knew I would lose.
Track Name: Tears in Your Eyes
You said my songs used to make you cry and I know why.
No one had ever been good to you, especially the guys.
You put up your walls.
You put up your front.
But you said your parents didn't know about the drugs.
And I saw the tears in your eyes at the show that night.
I tried to comfort you because I know you felt dead inside.
I know you more than you know.
We are the same and your empty heart shows on your sleeve.
You had to act tough and I told you to leave when you told me the truth.
But you're childhood is not an excuse.
What you did to me was cowardly.
And you cried on my floor begged and pleaded.
But my defense kicked in before you destroyed me,
used me like a toy, you see.
I didn't even want to look at your face,
Opened the door and you left my place,
The door slammed for the last time.
I told you to get out of my life.

I thought I could show this wounded bird
Love and kindness but I got burned.
I should of listened to my own advice:
That behind your beautiful disguise
and the truth behind your withdrawn eyes,
is that you feel dead inside.

It's best that I don't see your face.
I try my best to avoid your place.
You got drunk and told me of your regret.
Can't stand to see me live and laugh.

"I carry this with me" you wrote to me.

But in your defense you had to flee.
I won't forget immortal nights,
but I'm bitter from all the fights.
The words I wrote for you are in the past
and I bet you threw them in the trash.

I know you'll never open your door again.

I'm moving on.
Baby, this is the end.
Track Name: We Ran Out of Time
I don’t wanna make you cry, but I feel I have to.
I don’t wanna say goodbye, but I feel I have to.
We ran out of time.

I don’t want this year to end, but I feel it has to.
Saying goodbye to my best friend when I know I have to.
There’s no more time.

Empty the apartment, I know it’s time to.
There used to be some kind of peace when I found you.
There’s no more lines.

I know that you still love me, yes, I don’t doubt you.
I know that I still love you, I won’t forget about you.
But there’s no more time.

I just want this year to end, I feel it has to.
My New Years Resolution is to forget about you.
We ran out of time.

I’m gonna break down and cry and I don’t want to.

It’s time to say goodbye.
We ran out of time.

Goodbye, Wharton Street.
Apartment empty and bleak:
We ran out of time.
Track Name: Match Point
The mistress that became the muse.
That never admitted that she felt used.
And in the end she had to get her revenge
because of what she did resent.

I would leave your apartment when you wanted me to stay
and I would go back home to her and she was jealous of your scent.
And in the end I didn't have to tell her everything,
She asked "Where have you been?"
I came home with your sparkles on my face.
I said I didn't know and tears ran down her face.

I said goodbye and she was gone.
We got close and you strung me along.
I thought it was a new love found,
but you said you felt you were the rebound.

You would ask, stuck in your thoughts, If her and I would still talk.
But despite all your jealousy you still had to cheat on me.
And then you were gone and all alone.
Then she called me on the phone:
It had been months and I cried,
telling her the truth about you and I.

I got my closure with you both,
and I decided to move on.
And then you both contacted me drunk,
and then I wrote all these songs.

Now I'm left with all this karma:
The result of my selfishness.
I think about you both every day and how I created this fucking mess.
But in the end it was for the best.
The match point came it was a test of my endurance to be alone.

Cause in the end, I lost you both.